LAME-OH

Step one: Front Porch Living
With rosé champagne for the girls and many beers for the boys.

Step two: Pajamas
Spend at least half the day in them.

Step 3: Mystery Trip
Bill’s Lawn & Garden. Does not get more authentic than this place. Check out the Easter chicks and ducks. But don’t leave with one.

Step 4: California Fresh Buffet
Take a farewell trip to the buffet of everyone’s dreams.

Step 5: Feed them Southern Food
(Get shown up when the New Yorker makes the best nanner pudding anyone at the party has ever had.)

(In between these activities: Watch tv, eat cheese and crackers, nap, think about next meal, pet animals. Repeat.)