Virtual Shopping at the Salvation Army
Published December 6th, 2006 in Junk Junk Junk, Virtual Shopping.I just had a free yard sale for friends, so I’m trying to be anti-junk. But, because I’m an incurable junk lover, I popped into the Salvation Army Thrift Store before I went into KMart for more colored lights for my gigantormous christmas tree.
When I see junk I want to buy, I get panicky inside. I want it, but then I get freaked out thinking about finding a place for it or having a real need for it. I could give it away as gifts, but would anyone REALLY want this stuff? These days, I virtual shop. Most times a photograph of the item suffices. Lee Ann and I started doing this in NYC a few years ago. We were at Bloomingdales, taking photos of all the things we wanted to buy for Clare. Brown sparkle flip flops. A way-out dress only Clare could rock. etc.
Here’s what I virtually bought yesterday.
OK PEOPLE. ASAPARAGUS LAMPS. I couldn’t stop going back and looking at them. I was *this close* to buying them. They’re slightly dirty-looking and weigh a ton, but ASPARAGUS LAMPS!!! Two bucks each if you’re interested.
Yeah.
Would have to be purchased and given as a pair.
Pretty wooden tray.
Bird shot glass and candy bear and friends thing.
I mean. Wow.
A book some poor sucker got as a gift from his 1980s smothering girlfriend. Woah! I just read the inscription again, I was backwards. A MAN gave this to a WOMAN. Amazing. See below for inside highlights. Couldn’t bring myself to buy it even as a joke for DV.
Pretty linen needlepoint.
Gorgeous salad bowl. Don’t. Need. Dishes.
Sincerely, are those lamps at the one at Coliseum and University? Because I love them, and I actually need more light in my living room.
Esbee! I actually thought you’d like them, even though i only know you in the cyber sense. They are at the Salvation Army store on Peters Creek Parkway over here on the southside. If you can’t make it over, I can try to snag them for you.
Snag them! Snag them! I will happily retrieve them and buy you a coffee (or tea) for your trouble. Pleeeeease! (Picture me looking at you adoringly.)
You know I can’t take it when you make that face. I’ll try, it’s just around the corner. As soon as I can get these people I work for to stop wanting me to do work for them.
What the hell kind of Communists are you working for? Don’t they understand the underlying patriotic nature of stimulating the economy in a free market? FOR GOD’S SAKE, WOMAN, WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ASPARAGUS LAMPS!